Excerpt from T.H.I.N.K. book
Anger is a feeling. Aggression is a behavior. However, the two get confused. At other times people use their anger as an excuse to behave in an aggressive manner.
Anger is an acceptable emotion just like happiness or sadness. Everyone feels anger sometime. However, many people deny that they ever feel angry. For others, they tend to become angry to cover up other feelings, such as hurt and sadness.
Angry feelings can release endorphins, which are powerful chemicals within the body. This rush of energy can help people to relieve themselves from feeling sad or hurt. However, masking underlying emotions is not a coping skill. Feeling angry is okay, however, the behavior people exhibit when they feel angry make a difference in whether or not they become aggressive.
Aggressive is a choice. Just because you feel angry doesn’t give you permission to treat others poorly. The use of aggressive behavior can be viewed as a way to bully the other person into doing something whether they want to or not.
When people behave aggressively, they don’t acknowledge the other person’s feelings or needs. Instead, they want the other person to give in. Aggression may become physically or abusive. Verbal forms of aggression include making threats or demands.
Physical forms of aggression may include throwing things, breaking things, slamming things, or physical attacks. Aggressive people blame others for their anger. “ It’s your fault for making me mad,” is the common theme. They don’t take responsibility for their feelings or their behaviors.
If you have difficulties managing your anger, learn to separate your anger feelings from your aggressive behaviors.